She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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