she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think I am morally bankrupt
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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