listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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