Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
