Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
