im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
