i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
