Nicole vs. Life
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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