i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
