can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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