so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
