North Korea, Best Korea!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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