Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
