Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
