Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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