It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Actions speak louder than pants.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
