I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
