I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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