So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
