My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
