you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
