so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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