Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
