I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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