i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Still dying that you shit outside
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
