Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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