Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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