I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
