the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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