Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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