yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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