If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
