Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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