I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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