yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We need to rekindle our bromance
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
