In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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