"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
