at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
