we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
