I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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