why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish you could order shots online.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
