A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
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