He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
