Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
