I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm at about main and main street
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
as a side note pls kill me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
