are you so shy because you have an std?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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