You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
