You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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