Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
