So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
