Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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