Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
