i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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